Episode Fifty Two: Bionic


This afternoon Gumption went into the vet to get microchipped. After a few weeks of discussion, Jenny and I decided that it was of foremost importance that Gummy and Toots be reunited. The problem was, with me starting a new job in Waterloo and Jenny balancing both school and work, trying to prevent Virtute from eating all of Gumption’s food needed to be addressed.  And that’s when we stumbled upon a cat feeder that opens and closes with a microchip.

Gumption and I had a lot of conversations about the dystopian scenario we were embarking on.  On the one hand, it is certainly creepy to have a microchip embedded into your body that can track your identity, whereabouts, and other things. On the other hand, Gumption was especially enthused about the possibilities of getting regular meals and eating at her own pace.  That’s something that she was lacking when she last lived with Virtute and one that had a deleterious effect on both cats’ mental and physical health.

After the insertion, I let Gumption nap in my bed as I tended to her and worked along side her.  At one point, she woke up and so I asked her how she was feeling, “I feel bionic,” she said fairly casually.  She’s a cat of few words, so I probed a little deeper. What makes you feel bionic, I asked curiously. She responded, “It’s not really like Robocop or other kinds of bionic half robots…it’s more like Christian Aguilera bionic.  The kind of feeling you have when you explore collaborating with electronics but really, deep down, you are always going to be better a capella.”  Poor Gummy. I asked her if she regretted that we got her microchipped.  “No,” she replied. “This is going to make Virtute so jealous! He’s always talking about how smart he is, like a computer. And now, I am actually part computer!”

And so began the start of our dystopian future…



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